June 6th, 2007: Eavesdropalicious

Don’t think that the fact that I don’t post everyday means I don’t write everyday. For example, last night at the bar, I was privy to the most extraordinary conversation. Conversations, actually. The first was some Hollywood working types talking nonsense about a script he had written. It was strange. I can’t really remember it but I know when he was done explaining, you could hear crickets chirping. It seemed his colleagues didn’t feel the same. I remember him saying “I tried to think about what would scare me”, and I remember thinking tigers, genealogy, trees scare you? Oooh...k.
Then after these men left, three business men in power ties began to perk up. I learned their names quickly Taj, Dan, and Scott were obviously feeling the effects from the extremely expensive shots of cognac previously ordered, and were getting rather loud and boisterous. I was engaged in a word puzzle but they were so good, I had to stop and record some of them. I saw three distinct drunk personalities. A loud, aggressive one, a quiet watcher, and a sober one. See if you can figure out which is which. Here is what I was able to scribble furiously:

“What are you so afraid of?” Taj has had enough. He sits up in his chair and leans closer to Scott. “You are so a nice guy”
“Well-“ Scott begins, nervously twisting the cap on his bottle of water.
“You come across like you are afraid of something because you are so nice.”
Scott’s face curves into an i-dont-know-i-dont-care sort of grimace. Taj is not dissuaded.
“You will make more money-If you get fired tomorrow, Scott, you will still make more money than I will in my life!” He emphasizes his words with sharp, jabbing pointing motions. “So what are you so afraid of?”
Silence from Scott.
“You got more power than you’re willing to brag.” And then he repeats this as if to stress the point.
“I’m confident today that Rick-“ Scott begins
“No! You’re not listening!”
“From my perspective-“
“There is no perspective! I am telling you”
“I’m trying to read the tea leaves.” There. Scott has finally gotten a word in. He looks satisfied.
“There are no fucking tea leaves!” Taj nearly shouts.
At this point, Dan, who has been as quiet as a monk , opens his mouth, throws his head back and realeases this shockingly high-pitched giggle. The table grows hushed for a moment. Then Taj leans into Scott and prepares to drive his actual point home.
“I hate to be crude....no, I really do”
This is my favorite part in the conversation. It’s what I call the uh-oh point. Where you realize you’re shouting at somebody you should be trying to impress. I see this point and smile. Actually, I hear it. Scott, who’s back is turned to me now, facial expression must look something like yeah-right-whatever. And I hear Taj’s mental uh-oh, louder than his thunderous voice. It becomes clear to me that Scott IS too nice. He obviously wants to go to bed, and is not listening anymore. And if he is still listening, (which he probably is because he’s so nice) then he doesn’t really care what Taj is saying. I feel like interjecting. I feel like turning around and saying:
“Excuse me gentlemen. May I speak freely?”
They would be shocked silent and turn to face me.
“Scott, “ I would start. “ You are too nice. But it’s not a detriment to your character as these gentlemen seem to think. Taj, what’s wrong with you? You’ve had too much to drink and I think you’ve forgotten your manners. You all need to go to bed, right now. Oh and Dan? Please try out another laugh for a while. The one you are currently employing is ridiculous. Good night.”
They would sit in amazement for a minute, watching me walk away. Then look around at each other, their brows furrowed. Just as I get out of range, I hear Taj say:
“Dan, you really do need to do something about that laugh.”